David cameron wants to be like common people

I went to Eton paid a lot for knowledge…

Today I received my postal voting papers. Not long after, a dear friend sent me this Pulp-inspired ditty, officially ruining this classic song for me forever.

Sack off health care, cut some jobs
Support the rich guys & fuck the yobs.

Then in another attempt to gain some street cred, Cameron announced The Wire is excellent and Dominic ‘McNulty’ West used to fancy his wife. Fortunately, West deftly blamed it on his mysterious friend, ‘Nick’. This comes directly from the Telegraph’s Election Coverage, not some two-bit glossie.

Now if I can just get my head around hung parliaments, I’ll be ready to cast my vote.